We get to choose whether our hearts are hardened or softened as we go through our share of joyful celebrations and difficult losses. We each have our share of pains and sorrows, as well as celebrations and victories. Having a hardened or softened heart is not dependent upon the circumstances of our lives, but in the choices we make in those circumstances. It is time for us to quit being victims and to take charge of our own hearts.
When we experience joyful and uplifting events, there is a natural ease with which we can walk through life. But that sometimes comes with a sense of insecurity: How long will this happiness last? Can I really trust it? If I really celebrate, will people think I’m selfish? If I let myself be happy and celebrate, it will be a much greater fall when a difficult moment comes.
When difficulties hit us, when we are in the midst of suffering, we can be tempted to give up hope or quit trying. We might even wonder why we are being punished. During the dark times, it might seem easier to simply give up and not even dream about or remember when times were better. We might even begin to believe that we don’t deserve to be happy or joyful, and that any past experience was simply a lie. We might push away any sense of joy or hope because we don’t want our heart broken again.
Human hearts can be hardened out of arrogance or retribution. When we choose to be apathetic, we make our hearts almost impossible for love to pierce. We fend off opportunities for peace and tranquility, and instead we trade for moments of disappointment and disillusionment.
Authentic love presents itself to our hearts in many ways. Often it comes in the form of someone who notices a particular need that we have and does their best to fulfill that need for us. Sometimes love presents itself through opportunities where we give more of ourselves to another than we have ever dared to do before. The softening of our hearts happens when we choose to love in sacrificial and selfless ways. When we choose to love in that way, our hearts and minds know that we are doing exactly what we are built to do. Made in the image and likeness of God, each of us is called to love in such a way that our love creates instead of destroys and unites instead of divides. Our hardened hearts become softened when we offer forgiveness when necessary. Our hearts of stone become hearts of flesh again when we dare to act more like Jesus than ever before.
I hope that we are able to hear the Scriptures for the Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time: the invitation from Jesus to soften and not harden our hearts. I pray that the readings lead us to actions that look sacrificial and selfless. I pray that we let love take our breath away and that we reintroduce our lives in hope, joy and peace. Instead of looking for the ideal way for love to come our way, let’s keep a keen eye out for an opportunity of love that looks and acts like Jesus. The teachings that Jesus gave had a certain authority to them, because they were backed up by His sacrificial and selfless love. People noticed the difference in Him, and they followed Him because of that. His love softened their hearts in the same way as His love will soften ours.
Father Donald Wester is pastor of All Saints Parish in St. Peters.