Most of us struggle with prayer at some time in our life. Even our greatest saints struggled: St. Therese of Lisieux, St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila and St. Catherine of Siena did, and they all became Doctors of the Church! Struggling while trying to grow in virtue is a good thing because we typically learn and grow from it, and in the case of prayer, we recognize the importance of trying to live a God-centered life. St. Teresa of Avila said, “Prayer is to the soul what oxygen is to the body.”
One of the best gifts we can give someone is to teach them how to pray. Here are some tips, insights and observations that may help you.
Persistence: This means a daily commitment to prayer is key to growing in friendship with the Holy Trinity, saints and angels. We need to talk, and more importantly, listen to God every day to know how He wants us to use our gifts. Persistence doesn’t mean that we will wear down God and He will give in, but rather through persistence we may eventually hear what God is saying to us.
Silence: Prayers are best done in silence when we can commit our heart, mind and soul to God. It’s important to create both exterior and interior silence. Exterior silence means creating a space free of noise and distraction wherever you pray. Interior silence means turning off all those thoughts and ideas that are bouncing around inside your head. Interior silence is usually harder to maintain than exterior silence. Try these tools to help develop and maintain interior silence. Start your prayer time with the “Breathing Prayer” to help settle yourself and to put yourself in God’s presence. Breathe in God’s love, and breathe out those things that are distracting you from getting started. When distraction happens, have a phrase that will bring you back to God’s presence. Keep repeating it until you are back on track. My phrase is “Jesus, I trust in You.”
Gratitude: One of the easiest and best ways to start your daily communication with God is thanking Him for all the gifts He has given you. Start from the second you wake up and continue until your head hits the pillow at night. Be specific and continue throughout the day. You will soon discover that you are praying all day long and it will become second nature, just like talking with your family, friends and co-workers. When you recognize all the gifts you have been given, it’s easy to be grateful. You start to see daily miracles and God’s active presence in your life.
Make it personal: Talk to God about what is on your heart simply and plainly. Use your own words and not written prayers. When we use too many words or use puffy language, we don’t always take responsibility for our actions or it may seem like what we did or didn’t do really isn’t so bad. Also, try to personalize your prayer by being specific to God the Father, Jesus or the Holy Spirit.
Read Scripture daily: God responds to our prayers in many ways, through other people, nature and Scripture. Read Scripture every day as part of your daily prayer. Scripture is the living Word of God. Depending on the circumstances in your life, a Scripture reading you have heard many times before now may be saying something different to you on this day. A common reaction from people who read Scripture daily is “that describes my situation exactly.”
Finally, when you pray, start with the end in mind — eternal life with the Holy Trinity in heaven. Changing the tone of our prayers from “what can you do for me today God?” to “what can I do for you today Lord?” will change the trajectory of your life and those around you.
David Baranowski is the director of stewardship education in the Archdiocese of St. Louis. He and his wife are parishioners at Assumption in south St. Louis County.