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EDITORIAL | Marriage enrichment is necessary in helping couples embrace their lifelong vocation

The Church plays an important role in helping couples enrich their marriages

The St. Louis Review offers occasional editorials and opinions from other Catholic publications. This editorial was published online Jan. 25 on the website of The Compass newspaper of the Diocese of Green Bay, Wisconsin.

When Cupid draws his bow and arrow on Valentine’s Day, he should have a permit. It seems his aim has been off-target lately. How else do we explain so many marriages ending in divorce?

The tale of Cupid is a fantasy, but the tragedy of divorce is not. While divorce has been around almost as long as marriage, splitting up soon after the exchange of vows is a sad reality.

In the book “Starter Marriage and the Future of Matrimony,” Pamela Paul explored a trend among newlywed Generation X-ers: the “starter marriage.”

The author defined “starter marriages” as first marriages lasting five or fewer years and ending without children. Paul, a journalist and starter marriage “survivor,” interviewed some 60 couples between the ages of 24 and 36.

Paul made a brief comparison between starter marriages and starter homes. The difference between the starter marriage and the starter home, she wrote, “is that virtually nobody who enters a starter marriage thinks he’s in it for the short term and will eventually upgrade to a better marriage.”

What becomes painfully clear in Paul’s book is that the couples she interviewed weren’t prepared for marriage and weren’t committed to making sacrifices to keep them going.

“I rushed to get married,” stated one 29-year-old divorcee. “My marriage was an unfortunate mistake, and it wasn’t worth saving because we were not meant to be.”

Preparing couples for marriage is one of the Catholic Church’s most important ministries. Without healthy, happy couples, all other sacraments suffer greatly. That is why the U.S. bishops issued a national pastoral framework for marriage and family ministry in June 2021. Titled “Called to the Joy of Love: A Pastoral Framework for Marriage and Family Life Ministry,” the document is intended to serve as a practical guidebook for couples and families.

In addition to a high divorce rate, Church leaders worry about a low marriage rate. Since the beginning of the 21st century, the U.S. marriage rate declined to six marriages per 1,000 population in 2019. It’s the lowest level since the U.S. government began tracking marriage records in 1867. In the Archdiocese of St. Louis, there were 1,380 sacramental marriages at churches in the archdiocese in 2019, down from 2,762 in 1999, according to statistics from the Office of Pastoral Planning. (Numbers for 2020 and 2021 may have been impacted by the pandemic.)

One part of the bishops’ pastoral initiative for marriage is a website — foryourmarriage.org — that offers tips and articles aimed at promoting healthy marriages. It’s an excellent resource for couples and parish ministers to explore.

Providing opportunities for married couples to enrich their marriages is a necessary task for Church leaders if they want to help couples to live out their sacramental vocation. Ministries like Worldwide Marriage Encounter help couples strengthen marriages and understand marriage as a lifelong sacrament. We must continually evaluate marriage preparation programs to make sure couples receive the best possible start to their marriages.

Pastors, lay ministers and parish members need to offer their support for these important outreach efforts, which seek to put a stop to starter marriages. Who knows? Maybe we’ve found a way to restore Cupid’s expert marksmanship.

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